Staying Together
5 Heartfelt Steps to Reconnect and Rekindle Your Relationship.
When love feels distant, here’s how to find your way back to each other.
Every couple hits a rough patch. The laughter fades, conversations grow short, and intimacy starts to feel like a memory. If you’ve found yourself in that space where resentment simmers, and silence has replaced connection you’re not alone. But you are in the perfect place to begin again.
Staying together isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about learning how to move through it together with honesty, patience, and heart.
Here are five heartfelt steps to help you and your partner reconnect:
1. Make Room for Honest Conversation
John Gottman offers these tips:
https://youtu.be/JDh86zOJZig?si=hjj-P1tVXDeo3uVo
It sounds simple, but real communication is rare. Not the surface talk about bills,
work, or what to eat for dinner, but the deeper things. What are you afraid of?
What do you miss? What do you need that you haven’t said out loud?
Set aside quiet, judgement-free time each week to talk really talk. Ask, “How’s your heart today? And be prepared to listen without defending or making it about you.
2. Let Go of the Scoreboard
Relationships aren’t 50/50. Sometimes it’s 70/30, sometimes it’s 90/10. If you’ve
been keeping tally of who did what-or who didn’t, its time to pause and reset. No one wins when you’re both losing.
Instead, ask yourself: “What can I give today?” Giving love, even when you’re not feeling it, can be the very act that softens the tension and brings you both closer.
3. Remember Why You Chose Each Other
What did you love about your partner in the beginning? What made you laugh?
What moments made you feel seen, alive, or safe?
Revisit those memories together. Look at old photos, tell your story again, or even recreate a favorite date. Your past joy can be a bridge to your present healing.
Explore our online course: https://theeaseandflow.thinkific.com
4. Lean Into The hard Conversations About Sex, Trust, and Needs
Sexual tension, broken trust, unmet emotional needs these topics can feel like landmines. But silence can do more damage than the truth.
Speak up. Lovingly. Clearly. Don’t attack or accuse. Say what you feel, what you hope for, and what you’re willing to work on. Couples who dare to be honest without cruelty build intimacy that lasts.
5. Commit to Growing Together, Not Just Growing
Staying together requires more than co-existing under the same roof. It’s about intentionally growing alongside one another.
Read books together. Try something new; dance, therapy, hiking, anything.
Go to workshops. Take courses. Invest in your relationship like your happiness depends on it because it just might.
Final Thought: Love is a Living Thing
Love needs tending. If you’ve drifted apart, it can rebuild. In doing so, you might just discover a deeper, more authentic love than you ever had before.
Need help finding your way back to each other?
You’re not alone. My self-paced course, “Breakdowns to Breakthroughs” is designed toteach couples the art and benefit of effective communication, guiding them from confusion to connection. Visit my website https://youareyourrelationship.com/ to learn more and take your first step back to love.
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